Hi Liz, thank you for your letter, I hope I am able to help you solve the problem you are facing in your life. I hope you will be able to make a positive decision that will help you in the near and distant future. First off I would like to say don’t listen to people at your school. The people who choose to pick on you will generally not understand your situation and are just out looking for attention. Orewa College promotes a practice called Manaki Orewa, which is set up to promote positive attitudes and behaviours towards people in the school and wider community. This was set up to help ensure that students had respect for themselves, respect for others and respect for the environment. The few students who are giving you a hard time at school are clearly lacking in respect for others, been yourself. I would suggest you talk to a teacher/dean at the school who may be able to remind the students about Manaki, and hopefully put an end to the problem. It’s important that this is solved not only for your self esteem and to make life more comfortable for you but, The Human Rights Act 1993 makes it unlawful to discriminate, either directly or indirectly, against a person on the grounds of their sexual orientation. Meaning both your mums and you have the right to be treated the same as any other person, no matter what there sexual orientation. Also everybody else has the responsibility to respect you for you. There are also several good support strategies that will be able to help you over come your issue. These been school based councillors, family planning, rape crisis just to name a few. I would highly recommend starting at your school based councillors, there they will be able talk through your problems, offer advice, and direct you down the right path. Family Planning is also a very good place to go for support. They promote a positive view of sexuality and will also be able to provide information and advice to you so you can make informed choices about your sexual and reproductive health and well-being. With Manaki and by using these support strategies you will be able to enhance your well-being. Your spiritual Hauora will change as by taking the initiative and getting your self help, you will know that in the future you will be able to do what is right for your well-being. Mental and emotional Hauroa that you hold will also be enhanced by seeking help from others in your community, as they will be there for you to offer advice and knowledge to keep your feelings and mind in a safe and healthy state. Your social Hauora will also be dramatically improve because by talking thing through with someone you will be able to hopefully come to the conclusion on how to positively react to the students giving you a hard time at school. This will hopefully help sort out your issue. Finally your physical Hauora it will also enhance as by going to see a councillor you will feel more comfortable been yourself. I hope that this has been helpful to you and that you will now be able to seek help form a support strategy. If you have further problem don’t hesitate to send me another letter! All the best for the future, I hope you have a positive out come.
Having a positive attitude about your sexual orientation and identity is difficult. Learning who you are is hard because there is so many influences around you. Through out the year there has become more pressure on teenagers to be ‘perfect’ and ‘normal’ because of the expectation shown by the media. The subject of sexual orientation is becoming more and more relevant as counties such as our own, New Zealand introduce legalising gay marriage. Sexual orientation effect teenage the most as they are still learnt who they are and where they fit in, in society. An individual should have the right to choose there own identity with out pressure from other factors. You should be allowed to be who you want. However not everyone respects other people’s personal choices, also some people need help working who they are while staying in a positive light. This is where support strategies come in. Manaki Orewa is a practice set up to promote respect for the people around you, yourself and the environment. Also counselling, which is offer to people of all ages, it there to give you someone to turn and someone to talk to. Family Planning and Rainbow Youth are two very good counselling services open to the public. Rainbow youth is a charitable organisation dedicated to help out people between the ages of 13-28 years old that may not be heterosexual. It is a drop-in centre that is open Monday to Friday. Not only do they have a drop-in centre they also offer social support groups where they organise a get together for youth members to socialise in a safe environment. These are interconnected because they are designed to help you maintain a positive attitude and are there to help people from all kind of backgrounds. There is a wide range of different sexualities. Your sexual orientation is how you view yourself mentally. These are also interconnected to develop your opinions and values about sexual orientation. Heterosexual is been attracted to a person of the opposite sex. Homosexual is been attracted to a person of the same sex. Bisexual is been attracted to both sexes. Society should be pressuring people into having a curtain sexuality, people and teenagers should be able to feel comfortable about expressing there own identity. To achieve this a starting point would be to use strategies such as Manaki in the wider community to help people understand that everyone has rights and responsibilities. Also ensuring there are councillors available to everyone no mater there background or problem. By attending counselling session and using Manaki it will help you open up and learn to talk to people about your feelings and how embrace who you are. For people who are confused about their sexual orientation the interconnection between these will help them to open up and talk to people who are going through the same struggles as you. You will learn more about yourself and become a lot more comfortable with the idea of who you are. You will be able to start to gain new insight to how common your problems are and that there is help out there for you. You will start to be able to maintain a positive attitude about yourself and others. It is very important that people having a tough time dealing with the harsh reality of society, use the support strategies available to them.
Hi Polly, I’m very sorry to hear your news, however I hope the information/advice I am about to offer you will help you to resolve your issues easier. Your next step would be to get a check up. If you have had intercourse with William there is a chance you should also have Chlamydia, and may need to get treatment. Say in the worst case you do have Chlamydia it’s important you tell your parents and they will hopefully be there to support you. Facing things such as having a STI’s, in yours and Williams case Chlamydia is a very big bump to face in life. That’s why I’d suggest some form of community based support systems in your local area to help you to stay in positive light and to over come this problem. You could start with the school health nurse, they offer advice an will be able to refer you to a family planning nurse. However you may decided to go straight to a family planning nurse in your community. In Orewa I would recommend Family Planning Clinic at The Hibiscus Coast Youth Centre, 214 Hibiscus Highway Orewa. Here they will be able to offer advice on contraception and STI’s, refer you to the doctor for STI tests, have a drop in clinic, no appointment needed. Also keep in mind the councillors your school provides, if you are having a hard time dealing with what is going on I would recommend setting up an appointment. This way you will be able to talk about how you are feeling and coping and they will be able to offer advice and help you through. You can always trust that they will keep things confidential and private. Having Chlamydia will effect your well-being in both positive and negative ways. Your physical well-being will be effected because it’s disease, meaning your health won’t be 100%. Your spiritual well-being will be effected as creating positive goal in the future may become hard for your relationship. Mental and emotional well-being will be effect as if it gets out around your school that William has an STI, you may become bullied and become very upset. Finally your social well being will be effect as your friends may start to tease you in and out of school, this isn’t a very nice experience to go through. I hope the information I have given you will help you and William to sort trough you problems and come out still having a positive relationship. Please feel free to contact me again if you are having further issues.
Discuss the authors purpose – what are his reasons for writing this story? What does he want us to realise or think about. Use quotes to back it up.
Make clear links to society and where this problem is seen.
Add insight about the possible causes of family violence and conflict.
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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Expand on the links.
Link evidence to the character.
Label each quote as dialogue.
Explain why each example is relevant and how it answers the question.
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Hi Agony Aunt
My name is Polly and I am 16. Recently I have started a sexual relationship with my boyfriend William, who is 17.
I know that he has had sex with a couple of girls in the past and I would like him to get checked for STIs to make sure that everything’s safe. Can you let me know what William’s and my rights and responsibilities are?
In your response you should explain the rights and responsibilities of both Polly and William in this situation. Also explain strategies to prevent pregnancy & STI’s.
Hi Polly, thank you very much for your letter. I hope that the following information and advice will help you and William prevent any unwanted problems after having sex. You and William both have rights and responsibilities that come with having a sexual relationship. You have the right to ask William to be checked for STI’s, and William has the responsibility to uphold your right. It is very important to respect that everyone including William have the right to make their own choices. Therefore you can’t make him go for a check up, but considering he decides not to you may want to reconsider your sexual relationship as you don’t want to put your body at risk of catching anything. However I believe that William getting check would be a very good decision. During your sexual relationship you both have the responsibility to look each others body’s, this includes protection to prevent pregnancy and STI’s. There are heaps of ways to reduce the risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection known as a STI. By following these next few simple steps you can dramatically reduce your risk of falling pregnant or catching a STI. Start with communication, been open with William it encourages trust and respect among the two of you. Secondly get tested, which you have already mentioned. Great start! Just make sure he follows through, also if you have been sexually active in the past you should get checked as well just to be safe. Always remember to protect yourself. Condoms work really well in preventing most STIs from being passed on when used consistently. Also another benefit is that when they are used correctly they help reduce the risk of getting you pregnant. In saying this they have disadvantages and advantages like most things, those being, advantages; protects against MOST STI’s, prevents pregnancy, easy to use, small and easy to keep private, don’t cost much. Disadvantages; some people don’t like them or won’t try them, may perish over time if not stored correctly, they can’t prevent the spread of STI’s if they don’t cover the affected area. However if this worries you, you may like to consider taking the pill which will prevent you from getting pregnant, you will need to see your doctor about this. Considering you decide to use condoms here is the correct way to use them. Firstly be sure it has been stored away from heat, check the expiry date. Also check that there are no holes or tears in the packet, and be careful of tearing the condom with sharp fingernails. Finally squeeze the air out of the tip of the condom before rolling it on. Hopefully this information I have provided will help you and William to have a safe sexual relationship with each other. Just remember safe sex isn’t always using condoms it’s also communicating with your partner, checking for STI’s, trusting yourself and your partner, saying yes and no when you want to and respecting each other’s rights and responsibilities. I hope you and William are able to make the right choices. If you need anything else feel free to send another letter.
All the best Agony Aunt
Hi Agony Aunt
My name is Harry and I am 17. I feel ready to have sex for the first time with my long-term girlfriend, Kate, she is 16 and also a virgin.
I respect and love Kate, but I’m not quite sure how to bring up the topic of sex. I want to respect Kate’s attitudes and values towards our relationship and having sex. Can you help me?
Your response must discuss the following;
How could Harry show respect towards Kate’s attitudes and values about having a sexual relationship?
How will the well-being of their relationship be enhanced by Harry supporting Kate’s attitudes and values?
Hi Harry, thank you for your letter I hope I can help. I hope that the information and advice that is following will hopefully help you to make a positive decision that will benefit your relationship with Kate. Both you and Kate have rights and responsibilities, this is very important to remember. To show respect towards Kate’s values and decision on whether or not she wants a sexual relationship, you should always remember that you have the responsibility to respect what ever decision Kate is comfortable with. She has the right to say no if she is not ready. This isn’t something you can bring up in any random conversation there is a right time and place. I suggest finding a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed and both of you are comfortable to talk, so both you and Kate are able to express your point of views on the matter in an assertive way. One possible way of bringing up topic is ask her whether she is ready to take the next step in your relationship, let her know you are ready but also fully respect her decision and don’t want to put any pressure on her. An important tip would be try not to get to flustered about it get straight to the point this way Kate may feel more comfortable about talking about the topic of sex. Also don’t rush into things if you think you need a day or a week to really think about it make sure you do! This goes for Kate as well. You may find Kate isn’t yet ready to discuss the topic with you, it’s very important you respect this decision of Kate’s as pressing the matter is likely to make your relationship weaker. However there is a possibility the discussion will conclude in the two of you deciding to take your relationship to the next level. In this case your four different aspects of Hauora may be enhanced. By choosing to have sex your mental and emotional Hauora of your relationship could change in a positive and negative way, on a positive note having a sexual relationship could bring you closer together as a couple such as you feel more comfortable around one another, and are able to talk through things and express your feelings to each other better. However the change could have a negative affect on your relationship with Kate, because if the right decision isn’t made you could regret it, this could also end up pushing you away from each other. That is why it is so important you and a good comfortable conversation with Kate before making the right decision. Your physical Hauora as a couple will also change and there is a positive and negative side. Positively a change in your physical Hauora could make you and Kate more comfortable around each other both in public and private. Although a negative outcome of your physical Hauora changing may be Kate falling pregnant, this could dramatically affect both of not only your lives but your families lives as well. Make sure during your talk with Kate you discuss some forms of protection for example using a condom or Kate going on the pill, taking precautions will help prevent Kate falling pregnant. Considering you are both virgins it’s very unlikely either of you are carrying any STI’s, so you shouldn’t have to worry about that. Socially the decision to have a sexual relationship with Kate isn’t going to change your social Huaora as because of the respect you have expressed for Kate it’s not likely you will discus your sexual relationship with any one other than Kate herself. Spiritually your Huaora may be affect in a way that in the future you and Kate will be able to openly and easily express your feels and opinions to each other knowing the other will respect what you have to say. I hope this information/advice I have given will help you and Kate to make a positive depiction that will make both of you happy. Just remember both you and Kate have rights and responsibilities within your relationship. Harry if in the future you face any more problems flick me a letter, I’ll happily try my best to help you out.